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1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.


3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.


4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.


5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no
place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.


7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was;
she told me "In the lake."


8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.


9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"


10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.


11. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.


12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.


13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
 

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